Friday, June 6, 2008

Golden Rule Plus


Well, Happy Friday Everyone! I hope it's been a good week for everyone. Even though I did a power slam of blogging yesterday to bring you up to date on our story on Bella I want to stay in the habit of daily blogging. One thing that's been on my mind and somewhat of a burden is the principle of the GOLDEN RULE - Treat others as you would like to be treated. Not that I'm in any place to change God's command but I think we can actually take that rule to the next level by treating others as they should be treated. You see, we live in a world of hurting people. There's a common saying that goes, hurting people hurt people. That is very true. We all have encountered that nasty cashier at the store, the rude teller at the bank, or that difficult coworker. It's been my experience that telling someone who internally is hurting to love and respect his fellow man is darn near impossible when they basically hate themselves. They would never tell you that in so many words, in fact they probably would come across arrogant acting like they are confident and self respecting. Not true! Their hurt inside has manifested itself into this shell of hatred outwardly. So, how do we change this? discipline. When Johnny Hothead gives you a special sign in the grocery store parking lot just love him anyway. When the store clerk is rude just forgive and love them anyway. Why? because we have no clue what's going on in their life. If we want the hatred to stop, the killings to stop, etc. we have to be the cure for healing and not adding to the problem. Here is a story from one of my favorite books by Steven Covey: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It's a great example of empathy and a lesson not to judge and react:

Steven Covey, the author, tells a story about a trip he took on the subway Brooklyn! (I'm paraphrasing it below.)

He finds the quietest spot on the train and sits down to read his paper. A few stops later the doors open and in comes a man with a few children. The man sits down next to him. The children start playing in the train, running around the poles, and making so much noise. Steven starts to think to himself, what a terrible father. What is wrong with a man who allows his children to run around like that... especially in the subway. At some point, Steven starts to say something to the man. The man snaps out of a daze and goes, Oh yes! I'm sorry. What the man tells him is that he just came from Maimonides Medical Center where his wife just died. The man apologizes and tells Steven they don't know how to handle their mother's death.

How many times have all of us got angry at someone for (insert situation here) when maybe they are having a life changing event going on in their
life or maybe they are under a lot of stress, having marriage problems, whatever. If we all just keep this attitude of empathy and discipline ourselves before we react to say, "You know, my life really is not going to change by this event. I really don't know what's going on in this person's life. Let me forgive them and say something nice instead of the 4 letter, on the verge of illegal, thought that's about to hit my tongue in 3 seconds". Is it easy? Heck No! sometimes it feels near impossible but are we serious about wanting to change culture? or do we just expect everyone else to change on their own? to do it miraculously in a society of hatred, hurt, etc. No one is stepping up to the plate. why not it be you? Be the Cure, Not the Cause.


Tools for change:
1) Read the bible. Proverbs is a good guide. There are 30 so you can read one a day. I really don't care if you believe in God or not. I recommend you do but that's another post. That one book alone is good instruction.

2) Associate with like minded people. Get around positive people. Break ties with toxic people. Find people who move you forward and not hold you back.

3) Read good books. Put down the romance novels and Fishing Weekly. Start reading books by people who will teach you principles of love,to have a servant heart, and leadership. Everything rises and falls on leadership.

4) Audio Learning. This is so under-rated. Find an audio series that will lift you up when you are battling against the hurting world. You will need your tank refueled daily. In some cases, Hourly!

5) Implement what you are learning! Knowledge without application is really not knowledge at all.

So let's all strive to deposit good into someones life today! People are thirsty for a little Love and kind words.

Have a great Weekend!

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Great advice! We are starting to use "Highly Effective Habits of Successful Teens" in some of our high schools. Hope you have a great weekend too!